In today's Ask Amy, 'My fiancé and I are expecting our first child next month. During a visit three months ago, his mother declared that she would be present for the birth.'
I told this to an older friend, who said I was being selfish to exclude the children and that they would resent this for years to come.
The time when you might need and welcome the most “help” is when the baby is three or four weeks old. Your partner should work with you to schedule visits and to be a gatekeeper regarding his clan. This is an important role, and it is one way he will protect his new family. My husband’s family went camping every year with a group of about five other families. His parents’ generation has continued to see each other regularly , and my husband’s generation generally only does this for big events – like a big wedding.His wife has died. Neither my husband or I had ever met her.
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