Letter writer still struggles with guilt over an affair they had 20 years ago.
The phrase “once a cheater always a cheater” just plays on an endless loop in my head. I hate myself for betraying a man who was nothing but kind toward me. I honestly feel like if I forgive myself, it’s like saying that what I did was okay.
Being on the hook keeps you right where you are, while even the man you cheated on has been able to forgive you and move forward. Forgiving yourself isn’t saying that what you did was okay. Forgiving yourself is saying the opposite: that it was NOT OKAY, that you did a bad thing which hurt someone, and that this is a mistake you acknowledge and will never make again.Have you cheated again in 20 years? I doubt it. So the phrase “once a cheater, always a cheater” doesn't apply to you.
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