Applying for Unemployment Is My New Full-Time Job

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Applying for Unemployment Is My New Full-Time Job
France Dernières Nouvelles,France Actualités
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“I join a Facebook group called ‘HELP US — NYS UNEMPLOYMENT ISSUES’ to feel less alone. Instead, I feel more alone and dejected. It turns out that I am calling at a fraction of the rate as the others, that I am the slacker of the bunch”

Photo: Getty Images/peter dazeley Every morning since March 20, when I lost my job as an assistant at a university, I’ve spent hours at home, bobbing my head up and down to the soundtrack of Lil Uzi Vert’s latest album and the shrill repetition of a busy dial tone provided by the NYS Unemployment Insurance Telephone Claims Center.

I put on mascara and fluff some dry shampoo into my hair. I figure why not look pretty while my life falls apart?Fortunately, I don’t need to dial the number. It’s already in my phone’s call history from when I called 276 times yesterday, and 372 the day before, and 402 the day before that.I don’t get through. I call every minute until around 9:30. Nothing. Just the stubborn screech of the busy dial tone.

It’s just me, my medieval iPhone 6, and my inability to devise a sophisticated calling apparatus. I return to making manual calls, feeling further demoralized and pathetic. The state’s labor department site is down; I refresh several times. It goes back up, but the only forms available for filing are an “Asbestos Certificate Application” and a “Child Performer 15-Day Permit Application.” The unemployment form appears to have vanished.I call 50 more times and — at last — am connected to the elusive automated system, which only emerges once every 200 or so calls.

I listen to the unbearably long prompt that I’m not allowed to skip, and mock the unsympathetic voice while I wait. Eventually, I make it to the Main Menu. I press “5” to speak to a representative and enter my Social Security Number into the phone at record speed. Boom. They tell me they are transferring me to a claims specialist.I’ve reached this point around 80 times over the past two weeks, and still I think this one could be different. Maybe this time, they’ll open the gates for me.

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