Advice | Suicidal thoughts are often hidden. Here’s how to talk about it.

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Advice | Suicidal thoughts are often hidden. Here’s how to talk about it.
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Advice: Suicidal thoughts are often hidden. Here’s how to talk about it.

. By invoking other people, you make clear that thinking of suicide isn’t freakish. An example would be, “A lot of people who are going through what you’re describing feel so bad that they think of suicide. Do you have suicidal thoughts?”Some people ask, “You’re not thinking of suicide, are you?” or the question’s more judgmental cousin, “You’re not thinking of doing something stupid, are you?” This kind of question broadcasts the answer you’re hoping for, which can inhibit the person.

that he tells self-blaming, depressed suicidal patients, “People who care about you will be haunted by your death for the rest of their lives. You must stay alive to save them.” It’s true, concern for others deters some people from acting on their suicidal thoughts. Statements like that, however, can convey that the person’s current suffering isn’t as important as others’ future pain. Such statements also can exacerbate guilt in people who already fault themselves for their suicidal urges.

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