Advice | Carolyn Hax: Groom says no to making room for all the cousins, and his parent feels torn by the exclusion.
I don’t know what to do. Inviting some cousins but not their siblings feels wrong, but not doing what my son wants for HIS wedding feels more wrong. I feel paralyzed and hate that this is already an issue in what should be a joyful time.In a Quandary:Obviously, you want to, for good reason. But it’s his party.
It’s also a reasonable thing he’s asking, but “it’s his party” means it doesn’t have to be reasonable. So, choose the people you want most whom you can invite without directly hurting someone else. If you’re under your allotment, then so be it. Bask in your son’s gratitude. Assure any complainers that your allotment was so small, you chose not to pick and choose.
Or, counterintuitively, giving her the approbation she craves could ease her craving: “You’re doing a great job with him.” Some parents don’t ever hear that.
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