In every couple's arguments, both partners believe they’re right. Rethinking that assumption can greatly ease the conflict.
Believing you're right usually has more to do with perspective than facts., the kids, how you speak to one another, and the division of labor. The last time there was a disagreement about the issue, whose side did you take?side, of course! Who wouldn’t? And you no doubt believed, in your heart of hearts, that you were in the right and that your partner was confused or willfully ignoring the truth.
Wouldn’t it be great if a neutral third party could hear the case? It’s so obvious to everyone that you are right; any reasonable person would surely take your side. In fact, your friends and siblings—maybe even your therapist—see things from your perspective. And of course your partner is thinking more or less the same things—but they can’t all be right. If we assume for the sake of argument that one person is right and one is wrong in every conflict , then not everyone can be right every time. In the universe of couples, the average person would be right half the time and wrong the other half.Accordingly, your chances of being right in a given argument are 50/50.
In the end, most fights are less about being right or winning and more about being heard and understood. You want your partner to know that the way you think and feel makes sense, given the circumstances, your history, your. You want them to know that you’re not “crazy” for reacting the way you do and for needing what you need. Your partner wants the same things. Simply acknowledging and validating the other person's feelings often goes a long way toward easing a conflict.
There’s no way to completely eliminate fights with your partner, and you don’t have to avoid conflict to have a strong and healthy relationship. Instead, you can recognize that your partner is doing the best they can, just like you are, even when conflict comes between you.
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