'Those big-time exes from college, the guys from my 20s who’ve moved on to new lives in new cities — I couldn’t tell you where they are now, mostly because I don’t care. But the ex-girlfriends who came before me? Allegra was at a rave last weekend'
It had been years since I’d last seen her.
I knew this thanks to my Explore page on Instagram. Apparently she’d just recently opened her once-private account, and because of this and thegods, I’m hunkered down in a booth, derailed by what feels like a full-on teenage rapture: sipping, scrolling, and running dangerously close to my first work meeting of the day.
I’d first found these accounts when I was dating our now-mutual exes. Sometimes I’d click out of visceral jealousy, other times out of curiosity. No matter: They were all, in their own ways, the woman I wanted to be. These women could’ve been anyone, but because of my exes, I had more stake in their game and more reason to compare myself to them.
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