In newyorkerhumor, join the C.I.A. Museum’s guided audio tour, led by a former C.I.A. agent who was demoted after he wouldn’t stop telling first dates (and WikiLeaks) that he was an undercover spy.
Poison for cigars, poison for soups—you can try them all! Museumgoers are encouraged to sample them at the J.F.K. memorial buffet within the Bay of Pigs Trough café. Don’t worry—a lot of them haven’t worked.These documents contain the first medical reports of Havana Syndrome. Each patient goes into nauseating detail about their symptoms—ranging from general pain to tinnitus to inability to focus.
Rounding out the museum is the gift shop, which features some of our most exciting offerings. My favorite is the “I Would’ve Snitched on Nelson Mandela Earlier” T-shirt, for $27.99. Other products on offer include stolen Mesopotamian clayware—great for Mother’s Day—and your dad will love a treat from our surveillance section, like an engraved lithium-iodine battery.
Our ability to tour the heroic history of the C.I.A. today is all thanks to patrons such as yourself, so please consider registering for our membership program on your way out. Or don’t—we already have your info. ♦
France Dernières Nouvelles, France Actualités
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