A father’s education in filling in the gaps

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A father’s education in filling in the gaps
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Tony Alford's version of fatherhood is different, but rewarding nonetheless.

Ohio State running backs coach Tony Alford with his family. Son Braydon , wife Trina , son Rylan and son Kyler .COLUMBUS, Ohio -- Most nights, Tony Alford awakens. Every 90 minutes or so, he estimates, Alford’s mind churns him from sleep, maybe for a minute, maybe for half an hour. It’s something about family, or something about football, but at 53 years of age, after a lifetime in the game, the distinctions between the two are all but gone.

“Now it’s coming full circle,” said Alford’s wife, Trina, his partner in caring for their children and their players, “because all of our kids are getting to be the same age as our players.” “He’s gone a lot,” Rylan said. “Does that make me sad? No. It’s just his job. It’s been my whole life. I haven’t known anything else. But I’m completely thankful for what he does.”

And Brayden, entering his junior year of high school, plays football but says his friends would never know his dad was a coach if they didn’t notice a couple photos on the wall. And there are others in need out there. Knowing that, and what he could do, keeps Alford up at night. With Alford by his side and at his back, Dobbins ran for 1,403 yards as an OSU freshman in 2017. He broke the school record with 2,003 rushing yards as a junior in 2019.

Lawrence Dobbins, a star running back on the Texas high school scene himself, dealt with health and legal issues as an adult, but as he grew older, J.K. had a close relationship with his father. Lawrence Dobbins died in 2014 at the age of 33, when J.K. was a freshman in high school. In April, Dobbins made a video call to Alford on the day that his friend and former teammate Dwayne Haskins died. They talked about life, but Alford remembers most not what he heard and said that night, but what he saw.Dobbins and his own father had their time together, but they didn’t always have it like that.

In 2019, Ohio State played Florida Atlantic, where Reilly was on staff. Talking before the game, Alford said he’d try to get him to Ohio State. In March of 2021, Jeffers was hired as an offensive assistant in the running backs room. “Why I feel so lucky to be where I am is not because of the Ohio State logo, or because we’re a really good team, or because I get to work for probably the best offensive coordinator head coach in college football, in Ryan Day,” Jeffers said. “It’s that I get to work for Tony Alford. I don’t have my dad anymore. I have Tony Alford. And that’s a little piece of him when I go into work every day.

“He was never aggressive or pushy, but he was every bit of a, not replacement, because that’s a bad word, but kind of that placeholder,” Jones said. “He knew not to overstretch his boundaries, especially early on when I was early in the grieving process and my family was early in the process. He knew to stay far, but stay close. And naturally, I just always gravitated towards him.”

“As a college athlete, coaches can be very easy to see through. A lot of coaches are there to get a check. A lot of coaches are there to get their next promotion. They don’t really care about the players. Max and Sam are 18-year-old twins, with Max at Utah State and Sam also at Montana. Max remembers his mom telling her sons that God gives his hardest battles to his toughest soldiers.Her sons have seen their mom become their everything. They call her the strongest woman they know. Then, from the other side of the country, Aaron Alford’s best friend and brother has tried to fill in the gaps. Tony grew closer with Linda. And he tried to be there for his nephews.

“He really took over as our father figure,” Eli said. “He’s just an incredible influence and mentor. And we always go to him with whatever kinds of questions we have.” With Dobbins, he searched for advice that might apply to Eli, since both had lost their fathers as teenagers.

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