'Nobody loves me.' 'I'm such a screw-up.' If you engage in negative self-talk like this, try these 6 methods to improve your mental voice, by KatieLMSW
Feeling badly about who we are does little to bolster our well-being and quality of life. If you’re ready to start feeling better about yourself, here are seven strategies to try today.Often, negative self-statements are vague and extreme. Think: “I suck.” Or,"Nobody loves me."
For every negative self-statement, disprove it with a counter-statement or list one or more events where the negative self-statement wasn’t fulfilled.Counter-statement: “My beloved grandmother thought highly of me and would be appalled to learn anyone thought I sucked.”Counter-statement: “I can't prove or know how others feel about me.""I know at least [family member/friend] loves me.
Contradicting event:"X told me they loved me when I was Y years old.""I felt loved by an acquaintance's pet when I dog sat for them."Write down—in chronological order or from most to least meaningful—all your accomplishments to date. From these, generate fact-based affirmations.Affirmation: “I’m capable of learning and demonstrating my knowledge about X subject.
It’s helpful to realize how not alone we are in massively messing something up. Everyone has at least one major oops! moment . Ask friends, colleagues or teachers you have a good rapport with, classmates, or family members what their biggest mistakes or failures have been—and what they learned from them. Or, search for public figures’ massive mess-ups in articles, books, and movies.
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